My New View on Friendship....

Confession time. Warning this blog may shock you. The content is Real and 100% how I feel.

Yes, I struggle. I struggle with more than health problems. I struggle with love. No, not love from my husband, kids, or parents. Not love from God. I struggle with love from friends.

Yep, love from friends.

Until recently, I wasn't sure you were suppose to love friends. In my mind I thought you only love family. Not sure if I was raised that way or if this was a theory I came up with on my own. Either way my mind said love family not friends.

 Maybe, I haven't loved friends because I haven't totally committed. Maybe, I haven't loved friends because I was trying to fit into the wrong crowd. A crowd that consisted of people opposite of me. Therefore, my heart didn't feel love because I wasn't loving where I was.

No, I am not going through some pity party. No one has hurt me and no drama has occurred. In fact the opposite is happening. I am falling in love with my friends. I am actually giddy about a new friendship. I am finally believing I can pick out the toxic friends from my amazing friends. Real people from fake. Although, it is becoming tough at times, it is also making me grow. Giving me confidence, realizing I don't have to be friends with everybody and I don't have to take shit from anybody. I love this feeling.

I fought my whole life to fit in with the "in" crowd. Not looking outside of the crowd and seeing what else was out there. I believe that limited me and my decisions. I also believe it prevented me from finding love in friends. The artsy crowd wasn't cool. So I stuck with what was cool. I didn't match up with people because I wasn't being me.

I also believe I need to figure out who "me" was. I think I did.

I am an artist. I love to create. Never, until recently would I have said those words about myself. A new friendship has help me realize that. A friend that can see who you are is worth loving. Holly is worth loving!!!

I have been so blessed to have her in my life. I am so thankful that we had time in Atlanta to reconnect.  Making a bag for her was the best thing I have ever done for a friend! It has opened up new avenues for me. Also, giving me a confidence in myself that has until now, has been lacking.  Confidence to move forward with my bags. Explore the opportunities that are being placed before me. Opportunities placed before me by other artists. I have had goals with my bags and Holly help me refocus those goals. Goals that I can't wait to share with you very soon!

Holly also gets other things about me. We have a lot in common and share a lot of the same views on life. I believe even when we disagree we will still be able to see each other's point without hating one another.

I love all of that about her.

She is unbelievably talented. Her film Prairie Love was amazing. Her acting skills are crazy good. I still have 10,000 questions about certain creative elements in the film. I would love to be able to sit with the whole crew that was involved in this awesome film and ask them all my questions. I watched this film from a perspective that I have never done before. Looking for the creative elements. Film is art and Prairie Love taught me that. It also makes me want to watch more independent films. I now see that there is more to a film than the story, there is an art in it. Holly taught me that.

So in a nutshell, I have found love in a friend. A friend that deserves to be love is a friend that teaches you things, gets you, and builds confidence in yourself. Encourages you to do the things you are good at and stops you from doing things that you suck at. A friend that deserves your love is someone that loves you for you. Holly is that to me.

Being with her in Atlanta changed me. Changed the way I view a friend and changed the way I view myself. So, thanks Holly! I love ya, girl!!!!



Gracefully I look up, thankful that I have been able to figure out "me". Thankful that God is placing things and people before me to help me with my challenges. Helping me refocus my goals and giving me the tools to achieve them. Thankful that He is placing people in my life that are worth loving and He is showing me how to love them!!!