Destination Unknown......

You have heard me say it before and I am sure I will say it a million times more before this journey is over and that is, that we Brodeurs live a crazy life. This military life is a crazy and an awesome life for sure. 

We have been at Holloman AFB, NM  just shy of one year and yesterday a group of people decided where are next destination will be. Do we know that destination? Nope! Will we hear rumor of where it might be? Hopefully! Could it change? Yes! 

Our next location and Scott's next job could have been decided yesterday and we won't know where that will be until the fall of this year! Does that cause some anxiety....UMMM......totally does! Seriously, our next stop on this journey has been decided and we have no idea where that is. Does it make me nervous....HECK YES IT DOES! Knowing that our next journey in life was decided yesterday by a group of guys that I barely know freaks me the freak out until.....

I read this.....

"We are so often

caught up in our

destination that we 

forget to appreciate 

the journey, especially

the goodness of the 

people we meet on the 

way. Appreciation 

is a wonderful feeling,

don't overlook it."

Perfect quote for this moment in our lives. I am so worried about the destination and letting it stress me out that I am forgetting to appreciate what is in front of me right now! The things that are in front of me right now are awesome! We are living the dream! Scott is in the job that he dreamed and hoped for his whole career. He is a Commander! How flipping cool is that?! Together we get to change people's lives, we get to make a difference. God put us in the perfect place and we love it! It has been the hardest best assignment we have ever had. It has allowed us to exhaust ourselves in a way we never imagined. We get to be part of a squadron full of awesome! Together we support people through the best times of there lives and through the hardest times of there lives. The Pirate Family is amazing and I proud to be a part of it. 

I am proud to be part of the whole military family! Each destination has brought amazing people into our lives. People that we will forever hold close, even if we only chat through FB posts! Yesterday was a prime example of the amazing people placed in our lives. I received a FB message from a friend that we were stationed with in ND and again in NM. Over time we had lost contact with this friend but reconnected via FB recently. Yesterday he sent me an amazing message of motivation and kindness. It made me appreciate him so much, it gave me that wonderful feeling! 

I have received several messages like this from so many of the amazing people we have met on this journey and I appreciate all of you more than you will ever know! You have given me a wonderful feeling when I haven't felt so wonderful! So today, I will not focus on the destination, I will focus on the amazing people we have met along, and the AWESOME life God has given us! I will reflect on the amazing journey we have had so far. Remembering that every step has made me who I am today. Remembering that where we go does not matter, it is where we are right now that matters. Appreciate today and celebrate the people we are with now. 

Gracefully I look up thankful for the amazing crazy life that we have been given. Thankful for the amazing and crazy people we have met along the way! Trusting that God is choosing the right path for us to follow and appreciate what I have now, not what is yet to come! Because now matters!!!!

Ready to be Positive!

Life throws fast balls at you from time to time.

One right after the other.

Some so fast it hurts to catch them.

Sometimes so many you just can't catch anymore....

My mitt is getting wore out. My hand is loosing the ability to hold on.

Life is starting to catch up with me.

The last few weeks have been very tough. I found a lump in my right breast that caused quite a stir. Lots of labs and screenings to find out that my breast cancer has never really gone away. My breast cancer that turned into ovarian cancer has been in my body for close to 7 years. That 7 years ago, my Dr. failed me. Failed to do the correct operation to get rid of my cancer. So for 7 years, I have battled cancer and will continue to battle it. The good news is, it is a battle I can win. For that I should be happy...right?

I don't feel so positive. I am angry....

I am angry that I should be fine. I am angry that I should have never had to go through the crap I have gone through for 7 years.

Don't get me wrong...I am very lucky, very blessed. This could have all gone a lot worse. I could be dead....I have my life, I have my awesome family, I have my strength, I have a lot of things that are right with me, but I also have cancer.

Yes, it is the curable kind, but it has caused me a lot of sickness and weakness that I HATE! It has caused lots of surgeries, a lifetime of scares and worry, and time away from the things I love. Chemo made me weak it still attacks me and makes me sick. In fact before I can attempt to take oral chemo I have to take medication to build my immune system so I will be strong enough to handle the next round of chemo. The immune booster shots make my whole body hurt. The pain is bad enough that I grind my teeth in my sleep which causes teeth to crack, which caused me to unexpectedly have to get all four of my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday. See.....CANCER SUCKS!!!!

I am loosing my positive, I am letting cancer take that from me too. I am getting angry at people that just want to support and love me. I am loosing this winnable battle. I am getting mad when people say things like, "that is great news"! Really, great news....I have cancer still. I have to be on a stupid pill that is going to make me sick again....what is so flipping great about that?!

See, mean.....I am turning mean.

So today, I will change that! I will not let cancer take the one thing that it has yet to take from me, and that my friends is my POSITIVE ROCK STAR attitude. Cancer, can make me feel weak, make me crack my teeth, make pedicures painful, but it will not take my positive. People have called me an inspiration and I need to live up to that. I need to stop pouting and start accepting what is good. I need to LIVE!!!

So today, I choose to live!

Yes, yesterday I lost four teeth. Today, I get a shot that knocks me on my ass. But, today I will not let those things rip me apart.

I will hold on to the verse that has been my rock for 7 years, the verse that has made me strong and positive.

The Lord will fight for you;

You only need to be still.

Exodus 14:14

I will hold on to that and continue this fight with a positive attitude. I will LIVE today and every day that God is giving me. He has given me these 7 years and I am thankful for that. Thankful for the strength that I have build up in myself, thankful for the good things cancer has given me. I need to focus on those good things and have a Rockstar attitude! Quite frankly, this negative attitude is exhausting, so......I am done with that!

Back to the good life.....