For without cause they have hidden your net for me in a pit,
Which they have dug without cause for my life.....
My soul shall be joyful in the Lord;
It shall rejoice in His salvation
Psalm 35:7,9
A pit, a dark place no one wants to be in. A place that is dark and cold, but you can see a glimmer of light. Even though that light is small, it shines brighter then any light. You find yourself reaching for it and grabbing for that net to pull you out. The net, you have all placed in my pit without cause. Your e-mails and wall posts have provided the bright light and lifted me out of my pit so many times this past week. I can not put into words how much every word means to me. I have never felt so blessed by so many. Your timing of your messages is perfect. Without you knowing, they have come at times when I am scared, or sad, or overwhelmed.
Today, for example....timing was PERFECT!!!
In the mornings, I have a new routine. A routine that Scott and I discussed together over our many long runs well before I had even stepped foot in the Dr office. Just so happened the title and blog postings started after my Dr appt. So my new routine is this and will stay this for as long as it fits into my everyday life.....take Jess to school, come home, read my devotional, journal my thoughts, pray, then blog. Sometimes, I fit a little time in there to check facebook. I know, it doesn't fit into my spiritual routine but today it did, so I felt that is a sign that I was suppose to check it before I started my devotional today!
So now you know my routine, let me fill you in on why your timing was perfect today.....
I was driving Jess to school, and Pink was on the radio. Her new song!!!! I personally can't think of a better start to my morning. Hearing her song play while Jess and I belt it out along with her makes me smile every time!!! As we are singing my phone rings, insert the sound of "So What" as my ring tone here.....I was a little upset that someone had the nerve to call my phone 1. during a Pink Song and 2. while I am in the car pool line. Come on people, you should be listening to the radio and know that the song will be over as I leave the carpool line! Anyway, I answer it and it is the nurse.
Thoughts go through my head as she says to me, " This is Major so and so's nurse, (sorry, forgot the Major's name), and she wants to see you on Friday. A pit enters my stomach and I suddenly can't drive, so I ask her if I can please call her back in 2 minutes, I need to drop my daughter off. Not quite the way I wanted to drop Jessie off, but some things are out of my control. So I drop her off, she gives me the big, it is going to be OK Mom, smile and an I love you and is off to school. I pulled over and called the nurse back.
She answers and I am trying to not cry. After exchanging greetings I get right to my 20 questions....
1. Why does she want to see me?
2. Are the results in?
3. What are they?
4. Why can't she tell me what they found before the appointment?
5. Can she see me right now, instead of Friday?
OK, so not quite 20 questions and maybe I only asked 2 out loud but was thinking of 100 in my head. So here are her answers.....
1. She wants to see you concerning your radiology work
2. I don't know what they found, I didn't read the report.
I reply with,
1. Could you please tell me if this is for the mammogram or the ultrasound findings or both?
2. I am a bit scared, (insert tears filling my eyes and the sound of a shaking voice....here) with my past I would like to know something before I see her I Friday so I am not freaking out for the next 2 days.
Kindly she says, let me look at the chart....
1. Mammogram has not been read yet
2. Ultrasound result, unclear of the findings you will have to discuss that with the Dr.
(I did ask why the mammogram hadn't been read yet, but the ultrasound had and she said I was barking up the wrong tree. Not sure that I was barking, just asking. I thought a radiologist read both....guess not!)
Fine with me. Fear left me, I am good with the unknown for now. I know I have a cyst on my ovary and I am not afraid of that. I also know this is a new Dr and she is all over everything, and may not be aware of the fact that this sucker has been there for over a year now. I am actually thinking of naming it since it has become another body part of mine. Pretty sure my right ovary, the only one I have left, is making up for loosing its left sided friend!
So I hang up, relieved a bit and drive home, park the car and come in the house. Open my computer and there in front of me is 3 notifications and 5 unread e-mails. All perfect and kind and full of so much love....Like I said, your timing is PERFECT!!!!!!
So again thank you for your words and perfect timing. For providing me with a net to get out of my pit and go to the light that is so bright because of all of you!!!! I love you all so much!!!
I am Gracefully looking up today thanking God, for the light that is all of you, the light that brings brightness in my pit and net that is pulling me out.....
So now you know my routine, let me fill you in on why your timing was perfect today.....
I was driving Jess to school, and Pink was on the radio. Her new song!!!! I personally can't think of a better start to my morning. Hearing her song play while Jess and I belt it out along with her makes me smile every time!!! As we are singing my phone rings, insert the sound of "So What" as my ring tone here.....I was a little upset that someone had the nerve to call my phone 1. during a Pink Song and 2. while I am in the car pool line. Come on people, you should be listening to the radio and know that the song will be over as I leave the carpool line! Anyway, I answer it and it is the nurse.
Thoughts go through my head as she says to me, " This is Major so and so's nurse, (sorry, forgot the Major's name), and she wants to see you on Friday. A pit enters my stomach and I suddenly can't drive, so I ask her if I can please call her back in 2 minutes, I need to drop my daughter off. Not quite the way I wanted to drop Jessie off, but some things are out of my control. So I drop her off, she gives me the big, it is going to be OK Mom, smile and an I love you and is off to school. I pulled over and called the nurse back.
She answers and I am trying to not cry. After exchanging greetings I get right to my 20 questions....
1. Why does she want to see me?
2. Are the results in?
3. What are they?
4. Why can't she tell me what they found before the appointment?
5. Can she see me right now, instead of Friday?
OK, so not quite 20 questions and maybe I only asked 2 out loud but was thinking of 100 in my head. So here are her answers.....
1. She wants to see you concerning your radiology work
2. I don't know what they found, I didn't read the report.
I reply with,
1. Could you please tell me if this is for the mammogram or the ultrasound findings or both?
2. I am a bit scared, (insert tears filling my eyes and the sound of a shaking voice....here) with my past I would like to know something before I see her I Friday so I am not freaking out for the next 2 days.
Kindly she says, let me look at the chart....
1. Mammogram has not been read yet
2. Ultrasound result, unclear of the findings you will have to discuss that with the Dr.
(I did ask why the mammogram hadn't been read yet, but the ultrasound had and she said I was barking up the wrong tree. Not sure that I was barking, just asking. I thought a radiologist read both....guess not!)
Fine with me. Fear left me, I am good with the unknown for now. I know I have a cyst on my ovary and I am not afraid of that. I also know this is a new Dr and she is all over everything, and may not be aware of the fact that this sucker has been there for over a year now. I am actually thinking of naming it since it has become another body part of mine. Pretty sure my right ovary, the only one I have left, is making up for loosing its left sided friend!
So I hang up, relieved a bit and drive home, park the car and come in the house. Open my computer and there in front of me is 3 notifications and 5 unread e-mails. All perfect and kind and full of so much love....Like I said, your timing is PERFECT!!!!!!
So again thank you for your words and perfect timing. For providing me with a net to get out of my pit and go to the light that is so bright because of all of you!!!! I love you all so much!!!
I am Gracefully looking up today thanking God, for the light that is all of you, the light that brings brightness in my pit and net that is pulling me out.....
*Here is a taste of the e-mails I have been receiving.....
In The Shadow of His Wings
I cry out to you O Lord for your mercy in this day
My knees give way from fasting my body is thin and scrawny
I am an object of scorn to my accusers
I am stumbling and falling and feel Iike giving in
Help me O Lord save me in accordance with your love
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
For in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until this disaster has passed
I cried out to God Most High to God who fulfills His purpose for me
They may curse, but you will bless
Rebuking those who hotly pursue me
You send from heaven and saved me
You sent your love and your faithfulness
To give me rest and peace at last
The battle has been won
But not by me but by the one Most High who I found refuge in the shadow of His wings He hid me.
Author:
Lynn Driskell
Love you!!
In The Shadow of His Wings
I cry out to you O Lord for your mercy in this day
My knees give way from fasting my body is thin and scrawny
I am an object of scorn to my accusers
I am stumbling and falling and feel Iike giving in
Help me O Lord save me in accordance with your love
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
For in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until this disaster has passed
I cried out to God Most High to God who fulfills His purpose for me
They may curse, but you will bless
Rebuking those who hotly pursue me
You send from heaven and saved me
You sent your love and your faithfulness
To give me rest and peace at last
The battle has been won
But not by me but by the one Most High who I found refuge in the shadow of His wings He hid me.
Author:
Lynn Driskell
Love you!!
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