Patience isn't a Word in my Vocabulary....

Being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might 

so that you may have great endurance and patience

Colossians 1:11

So, I am not the most patient person in the world. 

Waiting in long lines...hate it!

Slow drivers....drive me CRAZY

Waiting for just about anything....well, let's face it...I can't handle it. 

I am not patient at all!!!

The last time I was diagnosed with cancer, it took the Doctors close to a year to give me a definitive answer. It wore me out. It was beyond frustrating. The whole process would make a normal person's head spin. So over a month ago, when the lump was discovered I was prepared to wait. Wait for answers, wait for doctor's appointments, just wait for whatever. 

They say you learn from your past. That you can learn a lesson from all experiences. Well, I believe I did. I believe, I learned to develop a certain level of patience when it comes to cancer and the Military medical system. In fact my patience has even surprised me from time to time over the last month and a half! 

God's power has given me a great level of patience during this whole ordeal. I am trying so hard to stay calm. To wait without anger. To trust that the time it is taking to know something, is the time needed to know exactly what is wrong. NO MISTAKES. 

Well, yesterday I think my high level of calmness left when they told me the results were in. I thought for sure I would have received a call by now. I haven't. I have checked my phone more times today, than I think I have ever checked it. I don't want to wait 48 hours. I wanted to know this morning. 

Why hasn't that nurse called?

Doesn't she know I am going crazy?

What if she were me?

Come on lady, pick up the stupid phone and call my flipping number. Why aren't you calling me?

Do you know something you don't want to tell me?

Did you lose my results?

LET ME KNOW SOMETHING!!!! ANYTHING!!!!

OK, now you know how I really feel. I am going crazy. I have run out of patience!!! 

Although, I am ready to know, I was very thankful for what today did bring. Today went exactly how I needed it to go.  Scott stayed home on his "reading" day and spent the day with me. We went on two great walks and organized three closets. The weather was amazing and our time together was awesome. It helped pass time in a great way. Scott being home and some lovely coconut creme filled dove chocolates helped me not go postal! Not go crazy at the base clinic. 

Tomorrow will be different. I will wait again. 48 hours will be up at 11am. Not sure if this is good or bad, but I will be out at the clinic at that time. Jillian has an appointment and I may just swing by and see what they know. Maybe, if they see my face. See my fear and anger they will give me answers. 

To get through this, I will look to the above verse. Trust in God's power and know that He has given me the endurance and patience to get me to this point and will continue to give me what I need. I waited almost a whole year last time, what is another 24 hours.....right????